You see, Tommy Lin never did like that cat. He was always locking it out of the house, giving it spoiled milk, or kicking it if it got too close. Then one day poor old Echo raced right into a baited trap Tommy Lin had left for him; I mean, have you ever known a mouser not to chase after a live mouse? Echo was only doing what he was supposed to, and he wound up dead.
In fact, it was not until later that evening that Echo was discovered. Mr. Lin ran outside to find his dog Pioneer whining at something in the farm's well, and upon investigation found a strangled, waterlogged cat floating on the top of the water. Yet Echo had done one final valiant deed before his drowning--he had scratched Tommy Lin across the face, marking the boy for his murder. When confronted by his father, Tommy Lin only laughed; he laughed all the way to the correctional center and behind padded doors. And, to this day, his laughs still echo through the fields of his father's farms, along the roads of the town, and in the cell where he stands grinning through the bars. . .
Author's Note. This story is based on the nursery rhyme "Ding, dong, bell," which can be found in The Nursery Rhyme Book, edited by Andrew Lang and illustrated by L. Leslie Brooke (1897). The original rhyme is written as follows:
Ding, dong, bell,
Pussy's in the well!
Who put her in?--
Little Tommy Lin.
Who pulled her out?--
Dog with long snout.
What a naughty boy was that
To drown poor pussy-cat,
Who never did any harm,
But kill'd the mice in his father's barn.
Image Information. A photograph of a farmhouse ruin in the winter. Photographer Peter Dargatz. Source: Pixabay.
Hi Jessica! I found your story to be quite chilling and I think that is due to the awesome imagery you included. I can tell from your post that you have a sense of humor and I think this will help you immensely through your storytelling journey in this class. The picture you added after the description of Tommy Lin really added to the horror aspect of this story. I had never heard that nursery rhyme before but every time I hear it now I am sure I will use this story to picture it in my head. I can see how you thought up a creepy twist for this nursery rhyme because what kind of boy drowns an innocent cat?
ReplyDeleteP.S. I might use your tactic of putting the image information at the end of my storytelling posts as well. I like how the reader is not distracted by the information on where the image came from while in the midst of a story.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteWow, this story was very chilling, but also really creative. I love how you took a little rhyme and turned it into a full story. Your description of Tommy Lin was perfect for this story. I thought you brought of life and personality to the story with your vivid storytelling style. I also liked how you named the cat echo, and then used that again to describe Tommy Lin's creepy laugh echoing through the farm. Very haunting! Great job!
ReplyDeleteI really appreciate the detail you used in describing Tommy Lin. It made it very easy to picture him and the way he acts. I got chills from imagining his laugh at the end. I wonder, what was the trap that he set up? How did he use the mouse to bait the cat? Despite the dark atmosphere, the story is good. I like the way you expanded on the original.
ReplyDeleteYour descriptive words and phrases are excellent! That is quite a talent. I find it challenging to do what you did with your story, but more power to you! How you defined the main character was a great aspect of your story, but I also like how your story flowed and climaxed towards the end. Your stories will be fun to read this semester! Great job!
ReplyDeleteWow this is dark... makes you realize how eff'd up a lot of these old nursery rhymes are. lol.
ReplyDelete