Hey, Jessica! Wow, I’m so impressed by not only your cover page but also your introduction. For one, your sketches on the cover page are absolutely incredible and so well done. Did that take you many tries or do you draw a lot? Also, the colors and fonts of your site are not distracting but complement your story very well. The cursive gave it a fun, dainty feel as the women are catching up for “girl talk.” Also, your introduction definitely grabbed my attention and the tone the women have when talking to each other is fun and engaging. I wanted to keep on reading and was very interested in what each of them had to say. If I had to change something, I would have had the third woman chime in sooner, but the way you had it written was very well done and impressive. I’m interested to see if Sita actually tells three different stories (I’m assuming each woman has their own page) and if the other women will tell three as well or if each will tell one. I like the idea about the women reminiscing about their lovers and hope the dialogue shows the love each woman has for her husband which I’m sure it will.
Thank you so much for your input!! The sketches actually did not take me that long, but I was hesitant about whether or not to use them so it's awesome hearing that people enjoy them. It's always nice when people agree with your creative choices, haha. Thanks again!!
Hi Jessica! Your Storytelling website is all around awesome! Being the first one I looked at, I am very impressed. The font you used is so creative and cool. I think it really fits well with your website theme. Your sketches on your cover page are amazing! You are such a talented artist. It is so cool that you decided to draw the picture you used for the cover page. Savitri, Sita, and Damayanti look beautiful and similar to how I pictured them. I am just all around impressed with your cover page. I also really enjoyed you introduction. You really get sucked into the story by reading how the women engage with one another. I am eager to hear about each of their love lives. I like how you incorporated death and rebirth. I found those stories we read about and also in my own research to be super interesting. I am sure you will retell and add your own twist to these incredible stories. I am looking forward to reading your future storytelling posts in the blog as well as the other stories on your website. Keep up all the good work and I will be sure to comment in the future!
Thank you for all the compliments! I am glad you found that the font and website theme added to the stories, rather than distracted the reader. And hopefully I will be able to continue sucking you into my stories if you revisit my storybook!!
First I'd like to comment on the design of your site. It is absolutely beautiful and after reading you introduction and your first story entry I think you design go along way to contributing to the experience of the reader. From your color schemes to your font, everything seems to fit in perfectly with your storybook. One critique I do have is the pictures. On the coverpage you have a picture that you made yourself and on the first story page you have one you found on the net. I think the picture you did on your cover page was actually better than the one you found and I also think it fit right in with the design theme of your page. The picture on your story page was the one thing that seemed out of place. I think it would be amazing for you to be able to use your original art in your story book. As far as the content. I like that you are using stories and characters from not just the Ramayana. I think this is a great direction to go, because characters from the appear in both books and this gives your readers a chance to see characters that they might not get to see if they only read the Ramayana. I had no idea who your first story was about until I read your author's notes so it peaked my interest in the character and I went and did a little research on it. Which bringing these stories to people and making them take an interest outside of our story books is one of the goals I think for the class so Great Job. My only real critique is that I wish you used all original art because I think it would allow you to add to "YOUR" story.
First off, thank you for all of the compliments on the design scheme! I have also been thinking about changing out my image on the first story for one of my own, but have not yet had the time to do so. But hopefully if you visit my storybook at a later date, you will see more original sketches contributing to a more cohesive feel. Thanks so much for the criticism!
Hi Jessica. Thanks for your comments on my stories, it's always nice to hear that other people are responding to the stories you write. You tell me I'm great. I tell you you're great. We're all happy.
Hi Jessica. First of all, I have to say that I love the design and color scheme that you have chosen for your story book. I think that the colors are pretty, yet they are muted enough that they do not draw the eye of the reader away from the story being told. Your cover page is especially stunning. It is amazing that you are able to create your own artwork to the level that you are able to show it in public. The women you chose to draw came out wonderfully. I especially love the details that you put into their hair and their outfits. The introduction is well written. One of the only issues that I have with it is that the text is slightly difficult to read. The detail that you put in your introduction makes me picture the teahouse as you are describing it. As you have the women interact with one another, I can almost see it. It makes me curious to learn more about these women, particularly regarding their love lives. I really like the story that you chose to tell first. I had little knowledge on this woman and the story she was involved in, so it was interesting to learn about her. I think that you did a good job at portraying her as a strong woman. I think the only think I would recommend is using more original artwork if at all possible. Otherwise, great job!!
Thank you so much!! I am glad that the design scheme of my storybook was able to enhance rather than distract, and also that you enjoyed my art--it's always great to get validation when I put myself out there!!
Also, there have been a couple of other people who also found the text slightly difficult to read, so I may be either increasing the size or changing the font. So thanks for commenting on it, otherwise I may not have known to alter it!
Good morning Jessica! I absolutely love your storybook. I too am writing about love stories in my storybook. While I am focusing more on how the God of love brings about love and fights the day to day battle with Karma, I have found your story on the tails of love to be good insight what I should be focusing on. Overall I found your storybook to be well put together and organized. The font was a bit difficult to read at the start but it got easier as you went along. I feel as though the white parchment and lavender colored letters are also a good touch; it kind of reminds me of maybe a journal. I also enjoyed the introduction, for example the teahouse that you so elegantly described full of souls recuperating after death. The slow fade into the conversation of Sita, Savitri, and Damayanti was well executed and allowed for a smooth transition into the upcoming stories. The first story you told was a fun read and I really enjoyed it. You truly portrayed Savitri as a soldier of love and I am convinced in the future will have no problem portraying the other girls as soldiers either. Keep up the good work!
Dillon, I may well have to look at your storybook to increase my knowledge on the outside forces influencing love, but I am glad that my stories are able to offer you insight! Thank you for the compliments on the design scheme and introduction, and also for picking up on the continuation of my storybook's main theme into my first story.
Others have also commented on the font, so I may change it. But thank you for the criticism, allowing me to improve my storybook and make it more accessible!!
Hi Jessica! My first impression of your storybook was a great one! Your storybook looks so well done, and honestly looks like a finished project. I love love love your cover page, I think the title and theme of your storybook is great. A lot of people have chosen to write about the love stories, but yours has definitely stood out to me. The sketches that you drew for your cover page picture are amazing.. I really appreciate goo artwork since I am so bad as it myself! Adding in your own personalized touch was such a great idea, it really made it stand out. I also love the background you chose, it just fits perfect. One thing I would maybe think about changing is the font. It is really beautiful, but I found it really difficult to read. If you could just make it a bigger or change the font to something that isn't so extreme, I think that would make it a little easier to read! As for your first story, I thought it was great! I haven't read that story in the Mahabharata yet, so it was very new and exciting to me. I loved the detail and emotion that you put into it and that you really emphasized her love and her heroism. Vocab, grammar, and content were all really great!! Overall, I think you did an awesome job! I really love your storybook and cannot wait to read more stories!
First off, I am so glad you love the coverpage!! I always get a little nervous putting my own art out there for people to see, so I am always relieved when I get positive feedback. I am also glad that my stories were able to stand out; I noticed that a lot of people were retelling love stories and was kind of afraid of being lost in the crowd. Thank you for all of the compliments!!
Additionally, several people have commented on the font, so I will most likely be altering either the size or the font itself in the coming week. Hopefully that will clean up my storybook and force you to come back for me just to see the change, haha. Thanks again!
Jessica, Thank you for your comments on my storytelling posts! Especially on my week 3 - High School Prank Gone Wrong. I had some inconsistencies in my version of the story and you pointed them out to me, which was very helpful. I will be more aware of that from now on. Thank you so much!
Hi Jessica! I just wanted to say thank you for your kind comments, especially on my Golden Deer storytelling post. I'm really glad you found it scary enough for your friends! I really enjoyed writing that story and I really happy that so many people enjoyed it, so thank you!
Jessica, the storybook looks so fantastic! As soon as I saw your choice of color scheme, font, and photos, I was blown away. It all really blends together nicely! I love the sketches and I am so pleased you chose to do your own, because that puts a touch of personality to your storybook. Plus you are a fantastic artist!
The only thing for me is the font ends up feeling smaller in the story text part. You have a way with words in your introduction. You set up the scene for us and give us enough details to really feel as if we are there ourselves. While I am pretty unfamiliar with these stories since I am in the Mythology class, I am captivated by the women's tales and I cannot wait to get into the stories they have to tell us.
I like Savitri's character. She seems like a very revered person and very strong. I love that she finds love at first sight, their eyes locking for the first time! He seems a match for Savitri and her devotion to saving him is sweet. I was stunned a the details of his last day. Her devotion really is so strong that Yama gives him back to her.
This is a very sweet tale and I am glad I read your storybook!
I think you have a wonderful storybook thus far and I really enjoyed reading your introduction and first story. Your introduction was very pleasant to read, I love how much detail you included throughout the intro and the descriptiveness of the tea room. This really helped me to imagine the place and pout myself into the story. I also think you chose a good layout for your work, the colors coincide very well with what I believe you are trying to convey. However, I would suggest either changing your font size or the font itself. The curliness of the lettering was a bit challenging to read at such a small size. As with your introduction your first story was great to read. Again you placed so many details into such s small amount of writing which really helped me as a reader. I liked how you wrote the part of Savitri, creating an extremely determined and strong women. The devotion she shows for the husband is quite powerful and really makes the tale what is it. Now that I have read your first story I am very interested in seeing where you will go with this storybook and what other tales you will choose to use. I think you are doing a great job, keep up the hard work and I hope to read more of your wonderful writing quite soon.
Hello again Jessica! I was happy to be paired with you again because I really liked what I saw so far on your blog! Everything still looks great so far! The image you chose for your first story is beautiful! It was also very fitting to your story which is always a plus. Your story was very touching and I can tell you are a really talented writer. I really thought this sentence was very clever " But my love’s impending death hung over my head throughout that joyous year, and as the year ended I conceived a plan to accompany Satyavan into death." I really liked how you made Savitri a very strong character. She seems awesome! I am looking forward to reading the rest of your stories and seeing what other stories you choose to retell! Best of luck and have a great week!
Jessica, I really enjoyed the artwork you chose for your cover page. I think the characterizations reflect how we would imagine them to be, rather than how they most likely would have been if these stories reflected a real period of human history. I like the font and layout you have chosen as well.
Your introduction does a great job of grabbing the readers attention and pulling them in immediately. The words that I have learned in the first paragraph alone are impressive enough and add to the intrigue of the story.
I really like how Sita responds to Savitri with “you would ask me that!” as if they are best friends and are messing around and talking about boys. It adds a very realistic aspect to the story, making it more enjoyable to read.
I think that introducing Sita’s story by emphasizing the fact that had her father not placed such great circumstances around her hand in marriage, she would not have ever been so lucky to have found Rama. That was a great aspect that you included that I have never really thought about.
I liked the way you emphasized the role of the females here. I think that we do not read of that enough throughout these novels and story books. Terrific job. I also really liked how you included images throughout each story. That added a nice touch that many other storybooks have not.
Jessica, this is my first visit to your page and I am thoroughly impressed! Taylor, this is my first visit to your page and I am thoroughly impressed! Our cover page is really unique because you added an image of the women in your story that you hand drew yourself, great work by the way. I also liked the description at the bottom of the page explaining the title. Your font and colors go great together and they accentuate your storybook really well. In the introduction I love the set up. I did not know where it was going at first but quickly gathered where your stories would come from once the ladies came into the description. The tea room you described had great detail and I think it was interesting how you managed to add in the Indian culture in the intro. Listening to the ladies talk was also very in tune to what I imagine they would actually sound like. Overall, this was a great set-up to the stories to come. Savitri’s story was captivating. I like how you started telling her birth story first then went onto her meet with her lover and then their life together. The thoughts and feelings really came through and added a personal effect that I would expect from a girlfriend telling her love story. I like how you separated her story by different sections as well instead of one long dialogue, this made it an easier story to read. Great Work!
Jessica, I really like you layout. The cursive adds a romantic feeling to your storybook. Your first statement in your introduction immediately drew me in. Great job. The level of description is incredible. You are doing a great job of setting up an image for your readers. Great job depicting girl-talk. I like how Savitri is telling this story in a modern tone with the character of a girly-girl. How terrific is it that even the most blessed and beautiful people can still have their breath taken away by others? I really enjoy how to describe that situation here. I caught myself just reading the story as if it were in the book. You are great at telling stories and keeping you reader interested through you use of descriptive sentences and intense plot lines! Wow, that is some serious love if she can change the god of death’s mind! I love how strong of a role she carries. She has such a strong character to face the god of death and end up virtuous! I really liked the image you have chosen. I have not seen this one before and it perfectly depicts the image you created in my head with your words!
Excellent storybook, Jessica. I really like the way you have your storybook setup and I think the layout of the storybook really makes it easy to follow. I agree with Mary, the cursive writing is really unique, and although cursive can be harder to read than other Times New Roman’s fonts, I think it fits perfect in this situation. I really like your introduction. It is very vibrant and alive. It really draws the reader in when they read the first sentence of your introduction. I really like to read things that use a lot of descriptive adjectives and action verbs because it allows me to paint a better picture in my mind of what the author is thinking. You did an excellent job doing just this. Facing the God of death must be hard to handle, but I think she does an excellent job at dealing with the God of death. Also, you make her such a strong and passionate character, which really sets the tone of her actions and relationships throughout the storybooks. I envisioned this perfectly in my head thanks to your great descriptions! Keep up the good work with the storybooks! I can’t wait to read more of your storybooks in the future!
Your story blew me away! What a great first story. At first when I clicked on your blog and saw the sketches, I was afraid that it would be another sappy love story about Sita and Rama or something. But your story caught me completely off-guard.
I don't know how I missed that story while reading the Mahabharata, but I did. I don't remember it all. You did a fantastic job of re-telling it though. This is definitely one of my favorite stories so far.
I enjoyed the layout and the effort you put into the background, font, and colors. When Savitri spotted Satyavan, I felt like I was there just watching this entire thing unravel. Also, the way you described Savitri's emotions when she found out that her husband was about to die, were so deep and magnetic. I felt terrible for Savitri and couldn't stop thinking about her profound prayers. I could imagine Savitri sitting by herself, not eating, not sleeping, just constantly uttering prayers about her husband.
The dialogue with the God of Death was key and added a very personal touch to the story. Her longing and desire for her husband were very clearly stated and shown. I loved the ending too! I didn't expect the God of Death to save Satyavan and bring him back to life.
I am thoroughly impressed with your writing skills and this story! Awesome job.
This is now the second time that I am reading your storybook and your writing is quite astounding. Most of my comments last time were in regards to your layout and introduction but this time I will focus on your writing. You have a way with words and descriptions that really bring your stories to life. Reading Sita's story places you into the event and allows the reader to feel as if they are standing next to her watching the entire thing happen. You also managed to describe the love she has for Rama the instant she lays eyes on him that goes beyond what either of the books had described it as. Once again I would suggest altering the font a bit even though it fits your stories and layout quite well. It just slightly makes things harder to read, maybe its just me though. Keep up all the great work cause your stories are amazing to read. Great job Jessica!
Hi Jessica! This is the first time I've read your storybook. I clicked on your because your title stood out to me. Your storybook cover page is very cool! It's definitely different from anyone else's I've seen. I don't know if it's just me but your font is a little hard to read at the top, where you have your story titles, the front is very small in cursive. However, I do get how the font goes with the writing. You use a very lifted language so naturally your font should match that. I really like your writing style. It really work with the story and was fun to read! It definitely makes the story what it is. I like Sita's story and I am always interested to read things from her point of view. I will be sure to look back at your stories as the semester goes on! Great job!
Hi Jessica, as we had free choices on who to comment on this week for our story book choices, I decided to comment on yours because I had never been put in the same group as you so I never got a chance to read your stories. I would like to start off by saying that your front page for your website was perfect, it was not completely plain or boring and it caught my eye. It got me interested. I also really liked your personal sketch of Sita, Savitri, and Damyanti. I think you did a great job on your introduction, I really liked how you used a lot of adjectives in your work since it really helped paint a better picture in my head. I also really liked how you dealt with the God of Death in your introduction. You also did a great job of making the women you talk about seem very strong. I could not really think of anything to make your storybook project any better since I thought it was perfect. Overall I think your story book was perfect and I really enjoyed reading it and I will be back to read more in the future!
Wow I absolutely love your cover page! I think you did such a successful job at adding a lot of detail to make the page pop but not too much to overwhelm! I really like the title; it drew me in because I am from the Mythology class so I had some free choices in this class for extra credit this week! I think the picture you chose is great because it really grabs the attention of the reader. I like how you decided to make it so large thus making it the focal point of the page. I also appreciate that it is in the center of the page, overall great job! I love that there is a tree house included in the introduction! Those are something that we all dream of having as children so it takes me back! I also think that you did a great job of being very descriptive in you introduction. You literally were able to paint a picture in my mind of the scene. In your story ‘Omnia vincit amor—Savitri’s Tale’ I think it is so cool that the woman role was so prominent and convincing in this story. I think it is nice to see these roles sometimes because you tend to see the reverse more often. Great job!
Hi! I just wanted to thank you for your comments about my storybook thus far. For you to say that my storybook is one of your favorites is such a great feeling for me. Your constant encouraging words definitely put a smile on my face. Thank you. (:
Hey Jessica....I think you should be voted most likely to make your classmates feel awesome. Every week you posted amazing comments that encouraged me to continue to create a storybook or blog post that was good. I thank you for all the great comments you left on my page.
Hey, Jessica! Wow, I’m so impressed by not only your cover page but also your introduction. For one, your sketches on the cover page are absolutely incredible and so well done. Did that take you many tries or do you draw a lot? Also, the colors and fonts of your site are not distracting but complement your story very well. The cursive gave it a fun, dainty feel as the women are catching up for “girl talk.” Also, your introduction definitely grabbed my attention and the tone the women have when talking to each other is fun and engaging. I wanted to keep on reading and was very interested in what each of them had to say. If I had to change something, I would have had the third woman chime in sooner, but the way you had it written was very well done and impressive. I’m interested to see if Sita actually tells three different stories (I’m assuming each woman has their own page) and if the other women will tell three as well or if each will tell one. I like the idea about the women reminiscing about their lovers and hope the dialogue shows the love each woman has for her husband which I’m sure it will.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your input!! The sketches actually did not take me that long, but I was hesitant about whether or not to use them so it's awesome hearing that people enjoy them. It's always nice when people agree with your creative choices, haha. Thanks again!!
DeleteHi Jessica! Your Storytelling website is all around awesome! Being the first one I looked at, I am very impressed. The font you used is so creative and cool. I think it really fits well with your website theme. Your sketches on your cover page are amazing! You are such a talented artist. It is so cool that you decided to draw the picture you used for the cover page. Savitri, Sita, and Damayanti look beautiful and similar to how I pictured them. I am just all around impressed with your cover page. I also really enjoyed you introduction. You really get sucked into the story by reading how the women engage with one another. I am eager to hear about each of their love lives. I like how you incorporated death and rebirth. I found those stories we read about and also in my own research to be super interesting. I am sure you will retell and add your own twist to these incredible stories. I am looking forward to reading your future storytelling posts in the blog as well as the other stories on your website. Keep up all the good work and I will be sure to comment in the future!
ReplyDeleteThank you for all the compliments! I am glad you found that the font and website theme added to the stories, rather than distracted the reader. And hopefully I will be able to continue sucking you into my stories if you revisit my storybook!!
DeleteFirst I'd like to comment on the design of your site. It is absolutely beautiful and after reading you introduction and your first story entry I think you design go along way to contributing to the experience of the reader. From your color schemes to your font, everything seems to fit in perfectly with your storybook. One critique I do have is the pictures. On the coverpage you have a picture that you made yourself and on the first story page you have one you found on the net. I think the picture you did on your cover page was actually better than the one you found and I also think it fit right in with the design theme of your page. The picture on your story page was the one thing that seemed out of place. I think it would be amazing for you to be able to use your original art in your story book. As far as the content. I like that you are using stories and characters from not just the Ramayana. I think this is a great direction to go, because characters from the appear in both books and this gives your readers a chance to see characters that they might not get to see if they only read the Ramayana. I had no idea who your first story was about until I read your author's notes so it peaked my interest in the character and I went and did a little research on it. Which bringing these stories to people and making them take an interest outside of our story books is one of the goals I think for the class so Great Job. My only real critique is that I wish you used all original art because I think it would allow you to add to "YOUR" story.
ReplyDeleteFirst off, thank you for all of the compliments on the design scheme! I have also been thinking about changing out my image on the first story for one of my own, but have not yet had the time to do so. But hopefully if you visit my storybook at a later date, you will see more original sketches contributing to a more cohesive feel. Thanks so much for the criticism!
DeleteHi Jessica. Thanks for your comments on my stories, it's always nice to hear that other people are responding to the stories you write. You tell me I'm great. I tell you you're great. We're all happy.
ReplyDeleteHi Jessica. First of all, I have to say that I love the design and color scheme that you have chosen for your story book. I think that the colors are pretty, yet they are muted enough that they do not draw the eye of the reader away from the story being told. Your cover page is especially stunning. It is amazing that you are able to create your own artwork to the level that you are able to show it in public. The women you chose to draw came out wonderfully. I especially love the details that you put into their hair and their outfits. The introduction is well written. One of the only issues that I have with it is that the text is slightly difficult to read. The detail that you put in your introduction makes me picture the teahouse as you are describing it. As you have the women interact with one another, I can almost see it. It makes me curious to learn more about these women, particularly regarding their love lives. I really like the story that you chose to tell first. I had little knowledge on this woman and the story she was involved in, so it was interesting to learn about her. I think that you did a good job at portraying her as a strong woman. I think the only think I would recommend is using more original artwork if at all possible. Otherwise, great job!!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much!! I am glad that the design scheme of my storybook was able to enhance rather than distract, and also that you enjoyed my art--it's always great to get validation when I put myself out there!!
DeleteAlso, there have been a couple of other people who also found the text slightly difficult to read, so I may be either increasing the size or changing the font. So thanks for commenting on it, otherwise I may not have known to alter it!
Good morning Jessica! I absolutely love your storybook. I too am writing about love stories in my storybook. While I am focusing more on how the God of love brings about love and fights the day to day battle with Karma, I have found your story on the tails of love to be good insight what I should be focusing on. Overall I found your storybook to be well put together and organized. The font was a bit difficult to read at the start but it got easier as you went along. I feel as though the white parchment and lavender colored letters are also a good touch; it kind of reminds me of maybe a journal. I also enjoyed the introduction, for example the teahouse that you so elegantly described full of souls recuperating after death. The slow fade into the conversation of Sita, Savitri, and Damayanti was well executed and allowed for a smooth transition into the upcoming stories. The first story you told was a fun read and I really enjoyed it. You truly portrayed Savitri as a soldier of love and I am convinced in the future will have no problem portraying the other girls as soldiers either. Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteDillon, I may well have to look at your storybook to increase my knowledge on the outside forces influencing love, but I am glad that my stories are able to offer you insight! Thank you for the compliments on the design scheme and introduction, and also for picking up on the continuation of my storybook's main theme into my first story.
DeleteOthers have also commented on the font, so I may change it. But thank you for the criticism, allowing me to improve my storybook and make it more accessible!!
Hi Jessica! My first impression of your storybook was a great one! Your storybook looks so well done, and honestly looks like a finished project. I love love love your cover page, I think the title and theme of your storybook is great. A lot of people have chosen to write about the love stories, but yours has definitely stood out to me. The sketches that you drew for your cover page picture are amazing.. I really appreciate goo artwork since I am so bad as it myself! Adding in your own personalized touch was such a great idea, it really made it stand out. I also love the background you chose, it just fits perfect. One thing I would maybe think about changing is the font. It is really beautiful, but I found it really difficult to read. If you could just make it a bigger or change the font to something that isn't so extreme, I think that would make it a little easier to read! As for your first story, I thought it was great! I haven't read that story in the Mahabharata yet, so it was very new and exciting to me. I loved the detail and emotion that you put into it and that you really emphasized her love and her heroism. Vocab, grammar, and content were all really great!! Overall, I think you did an awesome job! I really love your storybook and cannot wait to read more stories!
ReplyDeleteFirst off, I am so glad you love the coverpage!! I always get a little nervous putting my own art out there for people to see, so I am always relieved when I get positive feedback. I am also glad that my stories were able to stand out; I noticed that a lot of people were retelling love stories and was kind of afraid of being lost in the crowd. Thank you for all of the compliments!!
DeleteAdditionally, several people have commented on the font, so I will most likely be altering either the size or the font itself in the coming week. Hopefully that will clean up my storybook and force you to come back for me just to see the change, haha. Thanks again!
Jessica,
ReplyDeleteThank you for your comments on my storytelling posts! Especially on my week 3 - High School Prank Gone Wrong. I had some inconsistencies in my version of the story and you pointed them out to me, which was very helpful. I will be more aware of that from now on.
Thank you so much!
Hi Jessica! I just wanted to say thank you for your kind comments, especially on my Golden Deer storytelling post. I'm really glad you found it scary enough for your friends! I really enjoyed writing that story and I really happy that so many people enjoyed it, so thank you!
ReplyDeleteJessica, the storybook looks so fantastic! As soon as I saw your choice of color scheme, font, and photos, I was blown away. It all really blends together nicely! I love the sketches and I am so pleased you chose to do your own, because that puts a touch of personality to your storybook. Plus you are a fantastic artist!
ReplyDeleteThe only thing for me is the font ends up feeling smaller in the story text part. You have a way with words in your introduction. You set up the scene for us and give us enough details to really feel as if we are there ourselves. While I am pretty unfamiliar with these stories since I am in the Mythology class, I am captivated by the women's tales and I cannot wait to get into the stories they have to tell us.
I like Savitri's character. She seems like a very revered person and very strong. I love that she finds love at first sight, their eyes locking for the first time! He seems a match for Savitri and her devotion to saving him is sweet. I was stunned a the details of his last day. Her devotion really is so strong that Yama gives him back to her.
This is a very sweet tale and I am glad I read your storybook!
I think you have a wonderful storybook thus far and I really enjoyed reading your introduction and first story. Your introduction was very pleasant to read, I love how much detail you included throughout the intro and the descriptiveness of the tea room. This really helped me to imagine the place and pout myself into the story. I also think you chose a good layout for your work, the colors coincide very well with what I believe you are trying to convey. However, I would suggest either changing your font size or the font itself. The curliness of the lettering was a bit challenging to read at such a small size. As with your introduction your first story was great to read. Again you placed so many details into such s small amount of writing which really helped me as a reader. I liked how you wrote the part of Savitri, creating an extremely determined and strong women. The devotion she shows for the husband is quite powerful and really makes the tale what is it. Now that I have read your first story I am very interested in seeing where you will go with this storybook and what other tales you will choose to use. I think you are doing a great job, keep up the hard work and I hope to read more of your wonderful writing quite soon.
ReplyDeleteHello again Jessica! I was happy to be paired with you again because I really liked what I saw so far on your blog! Everything still looks great so far! The image you chose for your first story is beautiful! It was also very fitting to your story which is always a plus. Your story was very touching and I can tell you are a really talented writer. I really thought this sentence was very clever " But my love’s impending death hung over my head throughout that joyous year, and as the year ended I conceived a plan to accompany Satyavan into death." I really liked how you made Savitri a very strong character. She seems awesome! I am looking forward to reading the rest of your stories and seeing what other stories you choose to retell! Best of luck and have a great week!
ReplyDeleteJessica, I really enjoyed the artwork you chose for your cover page. I think the characterizations reflect how we would imagine them to be, rather than how they most likely would have been if these stories reflected a real period of human history. I like the font and layout you have chosen as well.
ReplyDeleteYour introduction does a great job of grabbing the readers attention and pulling them in immediately. The words that I have learned in the first paragraph alone are impressive enough and add to the intrigue of the story.
I really like how Sita responds to Savitri with “you would ask me that!” as if they are best friends and are messing around and talking about boys. It adds a very realistic aspect to the story, making it more enjoyable to read.
I think that introducing Sita’s story by emphasizing the fact that had her father not placed such great circumstances around her hand in marriage, she would not have ever been so lucky to have found Rama. That was a great aspect that you included that I have never really thought about.
I liked the way you emphasized the role of the females here. I think that we do not read of that enough throughout these novels and story books. Terrific job. I also really liked how you included images throughout each story. That added a nice touch that many other storybooks have not.
Jessica, this is my first visit to your page and I am thoroughly impressed! Taylor, this is my first visit to your page and I am thoroughly impressed! Our cover page is really unique because you added an image of the women in your story that you hand drew yourself, great work by the way. I also liked the description at the bottom of the page explaining the title. Your font and colors go great together and they accentuate your storybook really well.
ReplyDeleteIn the introduction I love the set up. I did not know where it was going at first but quickly gathered where your stories would come from once the ladies came into the description. The tea room you described had great detail and I think it was interesting how you managed to add in the Indian culture in the intro. Listening to the ladies talk was also very in tune to what I imagine they would actually sound like. Overall, this was a great set-up to the stories to come.
Savitri’s story was captivating. I like how you started telling her birth story first then went onto her meet with her lover and then their life together. The thoughts and feelings really came through and added a personal effect that I would expect from a girlfriend telling her love story. I like how you separated her story by different sections as well instead of one long dialogue, this made it an easier story to read. Great Work!
Jessica, I really like you layout. The cursive adds a romantic feeling to your storybook. Your first statement in your introduction immediately drew me in. Great job. The level of description is incredible. You are doing a great job of setting up an image for your readers. Great job depicting girl-talk. I like how Savitri is telling this story in a modern tone with the character of a girly-girl. How terrific is it that even the most blessed and beautiful people can still have their breath taken away by others? I really enjoy how to describe that situation here. I caught myself just reading the story as if it were in the book. You are great at telling stories and keeping you reader interested through you use of descriptive sentences and intense plot lines! Wow, that is some serious love if she can change the god of death’s mind! I love how strong of a role she carries. She has such a strong character to face the god of death and end up virtuous! I really liked the image you have chosen. I have not seen this one before and it perfectly depicts the image you created in my head with your words!
ReplyDeleteExcellent storybook, Jessica. I really like the way you have your storybook setup and I think the layout of the storybook really makes it easy to follow. I agree with Mary, the cursive writing is really unique, and although cursive can be harder to read than other Times New Roman’s fonts, I think it fits perfect in this situation. I really like your introduction. It is very vibrant and alive. It really draws the reader in when they read the first sentence of your introduction. I really like to read things that use a lot of descriptive adjectives and action verbs because it allows me to paint a better picture in my mind of what the author is thinking. You did an excellent job doing just this. Facing the God of death must be hard to handle, but I think she does an excellent job at dealing with the God of death. Also, you make her such a strong and passionate character, which really sets the tone of her actions and relationships throughout the storybooks. I envisioned this perfectly in my head thanks to your great descriptions! Keep up the good work with the storybooks! I can’t wait to read more of your storybooks in the future!
ReplyDeleteJessica,
ReplyDeleteYour story blew me away! What a great first story. At first when I clicked on your blog and saw the sketches, I was afraid that it would be another sappy love story about Sita and Rama or something. But your story caught me completely off-guard.
I don't know how I missed that story while reading the Mahabharata, but I did. I don't remember it all. You did a fantastic job of re-telling it though. This is definitely one of my favorite stories so far.
I enjoyed the layout and the effort you put into the background, font, and colors. When Savitri spotted Satyavan, I felt like I was there just watching this entire thing unravel. Also, the way you described Savitri's emotions when she found out that her husband was about to die, were so deep and magnetic. I felt terrible for Savitri and couldn't stop thinking about her profound prayers. I could imagine Savitri sitting by herself, not eating, not sleeping, just constantly uttering prayers about her husband.
The dialogue with the God of Death was key and added a very personal touch to the story. Her longing and desire for her husband were very clearly stated and shown. I loved the ending too! I didn't expect the God of Death to save Satyavan and bring him back to life.
I am thoroughly impressed with your writing skills and this story! Awesome job.
Jessica,
ReplyDeleteThis is now the second time that I am reading your storybook and your writing is quite astounding. Most of my comments last time were in regards to your layout and introduction but this time I will focus on your writing. You have a way with words and descriptions that really bring your stories to life. Reading Sita's story places you into the event and allows the reader to feel as if they are standing next to her watching the entire thing happen. You also managed to describe the love she has for Rama the instant she lays eyes on him that goes beyond what either of the books had described it as. Once again I would suggest altering the font a bit even though it fits your stories and layout quite well. It just slightly makes things harder to read, maybe its just me though. Keep up all the great work cause your stories are amazing to read. Great job Jessica!
Hi Jessica!
ReplyDeleteThis is the first time I've read your storybook. I clicked on your because your title stood out to me. Your storybook cover page is very cool! It's definitely different from anyone else's I've seen. I don't know if it's just me but your font is a little hard to read at the top, where you have your story titles, the front is very small in cursive. However, I do get how the font goes with the writing. You use a very lifted language so naturally your font should match that. I really like your writing style. It really work with the story and was fun to read! It definitely makes the story what it is.
I like Sita's story and I am always interested to read things from her point of view.
I will be sure to look back at your stories as the semester goes on! Great job!
Hi Jessica, as we had free choices on who to comment on this week for our story book choices, I decided to comment on yours because I had never been put in the same group as you so I never got a chance to read your stories. I would like to start off by saying that your front page for your website was perfect, it was not completely plain or boring and it caught my eye. It got me interested. I also really liked your personal sketch of Sita, Savitri, and Damyanti. I think you did a great job on your introduction, I really liked how you used a lot of adjectives in your work since it really helped paint a better picture in my head. I also really liked how you dealt with the God of Death in your introduction. You also did a great job of making the women you talk about seem very strong. I could not really think of anything to make your storybook project any better since I thought it was perfect. Overall I think your story book was perfect and I really enjoyed reading it and I will be back to read more in the future!
ReplyDeleteWow I absolutely love your cover page! I think you did such a successful job at adding a lot of detail to make the page pop but not too much to overwhelm! I really like the title; it drew me in because I am from the Mythology class so I had some free choices in this class for extra credit this week! I think the picture you chose is great because it really grabs the attention of the reader. I like how you decided to make it so large thus making it the focal point of the page. I also appreciate that it is in the center of the page, overall great job!
ReplyDeleteI love that there is a tree house included in the introduction! Those are something that we all dream of having as children so it takes me back! I also think that you did a great job of being very descriptive in you introduction. You literally were able to paint a picture in my mind of the scene. In your story ‘Omnia vincit amor—Savitri’s Tale’ I think it is so cool that the woman role was so prominent and convincing in this story. I think it is nice to see these roles sometimes because you tend to see the reverse more often. Great job!
Hi! I just wanted to thank you for your comments about my storybook thus far. For you to say that my storybook is one of your favorites is such a great feeling for me. Your constant encouraging words definitely put a smile on my face. Thank you. (:
ReplyDeleteHey Jessica....I think you should be voted most likely to make your classmates feel awesome. Every week you posted amazing comments that encouraged me to continue to create a storybook or blog post that was good. I thank you for all the great comments you left on my page.
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