You left me. The love of my life, the other half of my soul, abandoned me. Many say that there is no pain greater than that of a broken heart--I disagree. For once you experience a love so great that it instantly incites burning passion, easily defeats demons and rakshasas, and effortlessly sees through any illusions meant to lead you astray--once you know a lover who was not simply created for you, but was created from the same essence as you--it is impossible to live without them. It is not my heart, but my very soul, my existence, that you have broken. After experiencing such unconditional love, such marital bliss, it might as well be a death sentence if I am to be spurned by the one I thought loved me.
I was simply told that I was going on a pleasant ride through the forest in one of our golden chariots. I thought it was to be a relaxing evening. I am innocent, blameless; do not believe anything to the contrary. For ten thousand years I have served faithfully alongside you, my lover and my king, but now I am forsaken by our people. Why? To what purpose? What have I done to these my people to deserve this punishment? And how can you so easily turn from me, Rama, my beloved? How can you throw me to the wilderness so carelessly?
Long ago, when faced with fourteen years without you--a relatively brief space of time--I could not accept such a void. Fourteen years without you may as well have been an eternity; in fact, even now each day I live without you I barely survive. My breath comes in ragged gasps, food holds no appeal, and every sight and sound only serves to remind me of your absence. Life without you can hardly be called life at all. . .
You tried to convince me before of the dangers of the forest, and of the luxuries that could be mine if I simply remained in Ayodhya. Do you remember what I said? A wife and her husband are one entity; what is to befall one should befall both--your fortune is mine, and mine yours. Without you, even Ayodhya, a city I love dearly, is as miserable and uncontrolled as wilderness. I depend on you, Rama. I cannot, will not, be cast away like water left unwanted in a cup. How, when I fight so hard to remain by your side, can you so easily dispense with me like so much offal? Your disposal of me is effortless; what am I to think?
If not for Valmiki's swift aid, you would not even be receiving this missive. Left deserted and friendless, I had prepared myself for a swift end in the enveloping waters of Ganga. But 'twas not to be. Instead, Valmiki welcomed me into his hermitage, and I lived to bear twin sons; Valmiki named them Kusa and Lava, and they so resemble and remind me of you that I know not whether to exclaim in delight or in sorrow.
At the end of their song--our song--perhaps you will recognize them as your children. I hope you will welcome them with open arms, and love them as I do. And perhaps, when you look at them, you will observe in them traces of my self, and remember me.
Remember me, Rama. If you still love me now or have ever loved me, remember me. Remember our love, our burning passion. Remember my pure heart and eternal faithfulness. Remember my fidelity to you, even in the face of captivity and torture. Remember how you abandoned me to the unforgiving forest, without just cause.
And perhaps we are not meant to be together again, perhaps this is how our story ends; if it is to be so, I shall accept it. But remember me, Rama. Let that be your punishment, as desolate abandonment is mine.
Author's Note. Throughout Narayan's The Ramayana, the one thing I never doubted was the love between Rama and Sita (even if at times their love seemed somewhat insipid). Therefore when at the very beginning of Buck's Ramayana I heard that Rama had just abandoned Sita to the forest--without even warning her!--I was shocked. I also started to doubt the strength of his feelings for her. And if that's what I was thinking, I can only imagine what was going through Sita's mind. So imagine I did; what you are reading here is the result of my imagination running wild with the doubts I have of Rama's love for Sita. Enjoy all the depressing feels, haha.
Bibliography. Buck, William (1976). Ramayana: King Rama's Way.
Image Information. Portrait of Rama placing a flower crown on Sita's head. Artist Sunity Devee. Found in Nine Ideal Indian Women (1919).
While reading this I kept waiting for Rama to be sitting outside Sita's window hold his radio over his head playing that Peter Gabriel song begging her to come out and forgive him for acting like a fool. This such a creative take on the shunning of Sita by Rama. Well done. I like that you focused on her heartbreak and the thoughts that were going though her head, wondering why he would doubt her when she had done nothing wrong. It really added an element to the story that was not there in the versions we have read so far. I did however keep thinking about sita under the tree in Lanka (from Buck's version) while she was in captivity, but still even in Buck's version her emotions did not come through as well as you were able to bring them through in your version of Rama shunning of Sita. The ending was a bit depressing though, I wanted my "You had me at hello moment" and you didn't give it to me, which is ok because I really enjoyed the rest of the story. Great Job!
ReplyDeleteJessica- I am incredibly impressed by the emotion you were able to encompass in a story so brief yet so powerful. My heart ached with Sita’s as I read this story, and I looked at the story in a much more awe-ful way. Also, your description of love was incredibly powerful and moving. I am very excited to read more of your pieces as the semester progresses. Great job!
ReplyDeleteWow, this is so powerful and emotional. You really make the reader feel for Sita. It also stirs up some of the troubling stuff in the Ramayana - it calls Rama's actions into questions (I mean, I already thought he was kind of a jerk, but for those who may not have thought about it too much this makes them see the issue). Even though it's sad and desperate, there's also a powerful love here. The beginning reminded me of the description in Narayan's Ramayana of how Sita felt after her "love at first sight" moment (which, in turn, reminded me of Romeo!). As always, this is really great writing with wonderful descriptions. I wonder - what if you tried writing a more dialogue-driven or even 'gimmicky' story? Your stories are eloquent and beautiful, but it might just be fun to switch up the style a bit... Or not, whatevs, just a thought!
ReplyDeleteWow, what an emotional letter from Sita! I thought you did a wonderful job capturing her bitterness, but also her heartbreak! I definitely felt that it was terrible that Rama sent Sita away like that into the forest alone and was really upset when I found that out, so I'm glad you chose to tell a story about that! I thought your style was perfect! Sita had been through so much for Rama, and I loved how you brought all of that to the reader's attention! Awesome job!
ReplyDeleteInteresting way to tell an alternate version of Sita's exile. Your story was a very emotional one, and it was cool that you told it from the first person perspective. As a reader, I felt genuinely sorry for the love sick Sita. Great job getting inside Sita's head and pouring her broken heart out for all of us to see!
ReplyDeleteWow, your writing is impeccable. When you were describing her pain of losing half of her heart and compared it to losing a person that was created from the same essence as you... Wow. Just wow. So powerful! The entire letter to Rama is filled with incredible descriptive sentences and SO much emotion! I love it. This is fabulous. I can't even believe a student wrote this! You sound like Narayan himself! Incredible!
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